Friday, July 21, 2017

From Prince to a President

Dear Mr. President, girl you need pussy control.

Seriously and WTF? This presidency is like The Hindenburg meets The Titanic to go on The Poseidon Adventure to The Towering Inferno. Only this time, Shelly Winters is not there to save the day. Dumpster fire does not begin to describe it, you need a whole entourage of classic disaster movies to even come close.

Let's review:
Bloomberg News is reporting that the Russia investigation led by special counsel Robert Mueller is zeroing in on President Trump’s business transactions.

The report quoted an anonymous source as saying that Trump’s financial ties to Russia are the focus: “FBI investigators and others are looking at Russian purchases of apartments in Trump buildings, Trump’s involvement in a controversial SoHo development with Russian associates, the 2013 Miss Universe pageant in Moscow and Trump’s sale of a Florida mansion to a Russian oligarch in 2008.” The Washington Post has not independently confirmed Bloomberg’s report.

Somebody is basically daring Trump to try to fire Mueller.
What's there to be nervous about Donny? I mean it's not like you've been laundering money for the Russian mob for the last few decades.

But the man-baby genius has a few tricks up his sleeve.

If you can't control your pussy, good luck with anything else.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Bitch, Please

 You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. In the case of our 'president' he sure does surround himself with a lot of gems.

Marc Kasowitz, President Trump’s personal attorney on the Russia case, threatened a stranger in a string of profanity-laden emails Wednesday night.

The man, a retired public relations professional in the western United States who asked not to be identified, read ProPublica’s story this week on Kasowitz and sent the lawyer an email with the subject line: “Resign Now.’’

Kasowitz replied with series of angry messages sent between 9:30 p.m. and 10 p.m. Eastern time. One read: “I’m on you now. You are fucking with me now Let’s see who you are Watch your back , bitch.”

In another email, Kasowitz wrote: “Call me. Don’t be afraid, you piece of shit. Stand up. If you don’t call, you’re just afraid.” And later: “I already know where you live, I’m on you. You might as well call me. You will see me. I promise. Bro.”

Kasowitz’s spokesman, Michael Sitrick, said Thursday he couldn’t immediately reach Kasowitz for comment.

ProPublica confirmed the man’s phone number matched his stated identity. Technical details in the emails, such as IP addresses and names of intermediate mail servers, also show the emails came from Kasowitz’s firm. In one email, Kasowitz gave the man a cell phone number that is not widely available. We confirmed Kasowitz uses that number.
Sounds more like a tweaking South Beach drag queen than a high-powered attorney to me, but OK.

Gosh, I wonder why they are so stressed out over at camp Trump? As per usual, the buck stops with the black guy.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

3d DCA Plus Balding Aging Broken Down Male Lawyer Watch!

This is important!

A random two second Google-ectomy has revealed that it remains a debatable issue in the Age of Donald Trump whether men should still open doors for women.

Here's proof I know a lot about this subject.

(I promise to share the article headlines immediately without reading with all my Facebook friends who I already know disagree with me -- that way we can really argue!)

Evidently as a 64-year old former second-string high school lineman frat buddy Dorito-snacking football and grill out every weekend brew-ha downing cigar-chomping caught a small fish once a long time ago red meat-eating single-malt straight up whiskey-swilling lame Godfather quoting virile example of the American Dream yet also testosterone-declining heavily stressed and depressed twice divorced severely overweight male arthritic two hip operations and still favor the right side inflammatory diabetic aging running out of money male supervising partner at some corporate lawyer mill, you're supposed to not immediately run over and pick up that empty trial box for that superfit "hot" 27-year old Cross-fitting, Spartan-running, marathoner new associate who you only take with you to court so she can watch how great you think you are.

What could be wrong with this picture?

Perhaps a distinction can be drawn between what we should aspire to in general as a society for civilized behavior -- always open doors for others, help others with boxes who are actually in need of assistance, let the person cut in on that stupid merge on 95, you know that sort of thing.

But then in a professional context perhaps we should be more mindful of how it appears sometimes, maybe all the time.

Or we can just agree that it doesn't matter because we live in South Florida and nobody does anything close to being nice to each other anyways...

The 3d emitted various written utterances, rush to read them here!

Friday, June 30, 2017

Trump Defects to Russia!

Don't laugh, it could happen.
In recent weeks, President Donald Trump’s defenders have been pushing a curious new line: Even if Trump and his presidential campaign colluded with Russia’s secret operation to subvert the 2016 campaign, that would not be illegal. Fox News senior political analyst Brit Hume made this argument during a panel Sunday, saying, “Collusion, while it obviously would be alarming and highly inappropriate for the Trump campaign…it’s not a crime.” He added, “Can anyone identify the crime?”

Well, yes, somebody can. Ten lawyers queried, including academics, former prosecutors, and defense attorneys familiar with federal election and hacking laws, cite more than a dozen federal statutes that prosecutors could use to charge someone who collaborated with Russian intelligence to influence the 2016 election.

“There is a whole plethora of areas of potential criminal liability,” says Tor Ekeland, a defense attorney who has represented clients in high-profile hacking cases in federal and New York courts. “To say that there is none is just willful ignorance in the service of propaganda.”

What charges special counsel Robert Mueller might eventually level depends on specific circumstances and evidence collected. But laws against abetting or conspiring to commit computer fraud or identity theft and against soliciting campaign aid from foreign nationals offer two potential areas under which prosecutors could seek indictments, the lawyers say. Prosecutors also could use broader federal statutes related to honest services fraud, wire fraud and conspiracy to bring charges against anyone who colluded, according to the attorneys.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Spence to World: Enough with Winn Dixie.

Let me make sure I understand the fact scenario, drawn from easily less than half-listening to Spence's lengthy dissertation:

1. Guy enters and exits Winn Dixie several times.
2. Legal standard is whether premises are "reasonably safe."
3. Winn Dixie sell giant buckets of unrefrigerated pickled pig's lips, feet, and various other dead animal parts!

4. I hereby move for summary judgment because that's pretty disgusting and there's no way eating pickled lips out of a jar in South Florida could ever be considered "reasonably safe" -- and I know how crazy South Florida juries can be!

5. Case over, don't go to Winn Dixie a bunch of times in one day, also forget Publix they don't seem to be all that nice.


Wednesday, June 28, 2017

3d DCA Watch -- Let's Return to The Poseidon Adventure!

When the world is going to crap, it's often constructive to reflect on the original Poseidon Adventure and the multitude of life lessons it offers.

Critical to the philosophical themes rampant in that (insane) movie classic is an ongoing debate regarding faith vs faith (plus action), and a related debate between deference to authority and the need to engage in critical thinking contrary to the dictates of that authority, popular opinion, and conventional wisdom.

Start at 3:02 here (though the entire segment is priceless).

The world needs positive action, kiddos.

To provide us with that much-needed jolt of bright sunshiny happiness, the bunker has swooped in on a quiet Wednesday to remind us they are still the Lords of Flatbush that flat highway with lots of developments nearby.

Wait a sec -- the bunker has gone 100% -- six for six -- all civil opinions!

They must be exhausted.

This is truly shocking -- still -- after 1204 straight opinions on this topic -- no one really knows how to cleanly and easily collect on a proposal for settlement.

Dear anonymous judge the Resplendent Ones refuse to name -- take a hint, wink wink!


Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Toking Tuesday: Your Medical Marijuana Law

Florida Today did a pretty good job laying out the ins and outs for Florida's newly minted medical marijuana regulations.
Patients who suffer chronic pain related to 10 qualifying conditions — including epilepsy, cancer, ALS, multiple sclerosis and other afflictions — may receive either low-THC cannabis or full-strength medical marijuana. 
The Legislature also increased the number of "medical marijuana treatment centers" which grow, process and sell the product. By October, there will 17 centers, each permitted a maximum of 25 retail outlets, dispersed among five regions of the state. The number of outlets will rise gradually until the cap expires in 2020.
There's no waiting period for new patients, and thousands of Florida physicians, including more than three dozen on the Treasure Coast, have completed the required 8-hour education course and are qualified to prescribe medical marijuana.
Vero Beach has approved the first dispensary in our area, and St. Lucie County has determined it will permit up to eight dispensaries. Port St. Lucie could consider a draft medical marijuana ordinance by July.
In theory, all this should mean those who need medical marijuana will have reasonable access to it. See a qualified doctor who determines whether you have a qualified condition. If so, he or she could write you a prescription, which you fill at your friendly neighborhood dispensary (or, if one is not yet available, have it delivered via courier service), and everyone's happy.
Well, not everyone.
For the list of rules, while largely laudable, has a few gaping holes. One is destined to be addressed via litigation. Another, if left unaddressed, could lead to significantly less access in some regions of the state compared to others.
For all that legislators did right on new law, they erred in banning the smoking of medical marijuana. Bill sponsors in both chambers said there was no scientific evidence showing smoking to be more effective than other ways of using the drug.
Yet John Morgan, the Orlando attorney, a deep-pocketed backer of Amendment 2 and potential Democratic gubernatorial candidate, has said he will sue the state, arguing that voters who backed the measure had a reasonable expectation that those who need medical marijuana would be able to smoke it.
Here's my 2 cents on smoking. First, who - whether you voted for or against medical marijuana - imagined that smoking it would be prohibited? The actual text of the bill lays out that smoking cannot be required in public places. That infers that smoking is permitted in private places.

So why smoke it when other options are available? Smoking allows the patient to receive almost immediate relieve and the effects are stronger than when vaping. Edibles sometimes take over an hour to provide relief. Smoking allows the patient to "micro dose," using just enough to provide relief. When I have used marijuana medicinally sometimes one or two puffs were all that was required.

All medicines come with some risk, and the risks associated with smoking marijuana are negligible when compared to the risks of the opioid drugs they will be supplanting. 

Besides, the only people who should tell you how to use a medicine are doctors, nurses, and pharmacists. Politicians are not qualified.

Friday, June 23, 2017

Dear Florida Supreme Court: OMG.

Hi it's Friday be happy yada yada yada but what about this:
When the sun goes down Jan. 7, 2019, Florida’s governor will be Rick Scott, and Barbara Pariente, Peggy Quince and R. Fred Lewis will almost certainly be justices on the state Supreme Court.
When the sun comes up Jan. 9, all four will be out of office. Scott, who is term-limited, will have handed off his duties to Florida’s next governor — whoever that may be. The three justices’ terms will be over as well, and all three are past the mandatory retirement age.
But what happens on Jan. 8? Scott says he intends to fill those three vacancies on his way out the door. A coalition of citizen groups headed by Florida’s League of Women Voters says he doesn’t have that authority — a position seemingly validated by voters, who rejected a constitutional amendment three years ago that would have clearly put the decision in Scott’s hands.
So, my fancy Federalist friends who swill chardonnay and eat nice whores de vores at the Bankers Club , or whatever, but then complain about The Black One and "bitter guns/religion/arugula" -- you guys know what I mean?

It's hypocritical, man -- what happened to strict constructionism, originalism, and basic conservative legal principles?

The Hyman abides.

Read more here:

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Bobby Gilbert Reminds You of Who?

No no no no, not citrus canker.

I want to say Woody's best friend in Manhattan, turns out the guy's name is Michael Murphy?

You know, that kind of smart, quiet, almost regal egghead bearing.

Is there someone else?  I know there's somebody.....

But what the State has spent to screw over innocent citrus tree owners over the last decade is a total and utter shonda, it's wrong and the civil justice system is worthless if it is not finally corrected-- no better than a third world authoritarian nightmare run by an Orange despot -- sorry -- oh well, it's still way wrong.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

3d DCA Watch -- As the General Hospital Turns Edition!

Yada yada yada various denizens in the Bunker emitted this very timely written utterance:

summary judgments require there by no genuine issues of material fact and the movant is entitled to judgment as a matter of law.

I'm paraphrasing!

Young gun lawyers, if you don't know this when you start practicing start learnin', kiddos.

But what is to be learned from this opinion?

Happy Wednesday!