L'Affaire Galleria Mall $36 Polo -- Resolved!

This has to be one of my favorite South Florida judicial scandals of late:

Last year, Fort Lauderdale attorney Lawrence ''Chris'' Roberts alleged that Seidlin solicited kickbacks in exchange for appointments as a special public defender on cases. Attorneys are paid $350 per case for such appointments.

Although appointments from Seidlin netted Roberts more than $72,000 between April 2001 and July 2004, the most serious allegations hinged on a DUI case eight to 10 years ago.

According to Roberts, Seidlin asked the attorney to buy him a $36 polo shirt from the Galleria Mall. In exchange, Seidlin would give him a favorable ruling, Roberts alleged.

Those alleged details are simply too precious -- can justice really be bought so cheaply here in South Florida? A $36 Polo at the Galleria Mall in exchange for a favorable ruling?

"How about an Everything bagel toasted with a schmear, and I'll throw in a summary judgment?"

But alas, the sobberin' former judge was completely cleared:

There was no record of Seidlin ever presiding over a DUI case, wrote Miami-Dade investigator Jim Futch in a close-out letter. Gov. Charlie Crist assigned the investigation to the Miami-Dade state attorney's office to avoid a conflict of interest.

Roberts also claimed Seidlin told him to buy a $1,000 purse for the judge's wife in exchange for three appointments a few years later. Months later, the judge asked for another purse costing $1,400. Those allegations were also unfounded, Futch wrote.

Investigators also looked into about $460,000 in gifts given to Seidlin's family by an elderly Fort Lauderdale woman that the family was caring for. Seidlin was cleared of any illegal activity in those transactions also.

Good stuff. My favorite part may be this:

He is rumored to be working on a court television show.

Umm, Judge Seidlin's 15 minutes were in 2007. In Hollywood terms that makes him older than ancient. I may not be Glenn Garvin but even I know that if Seidlin is still "working" on his TV show two years later it's probably long dead.