Monday, October 19, 2009

Count Your Pennies -- All Good Jews Do!


Sorry folks, long day and I'm out of here.

Before I leave, I want to thank South Carolina for just being South Carolina -- it makes being a Floridian seem not quite as bad:

After a Democratic state senator wrote in The State that DeMint didn't bring enough money back home, Bamberg County GOP Chairman Edwin Merwin and Orangeburg County GOP Chairman James Ulmer responded that he was just looking after the nation's pennies -- like a Jew would.

"There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves," Ulmer and Merwin wrote in a joint letter published by The Times and Democrat. "By not using earmarks to fund projects for South Carolina and instead using actual bills, DeMint is watching our nation's pennies and trying to preserve our country's wealth and our economy's viability to give all an opportunity to succeed."

This is one hundred percent true -- there is indeed such a saying.

In fact, I'm sure these two gentlemen know LOTS of sayings about the Jews, some of them probably involving a Jew, a Catholic, and a Pole together on a life raft, so why not just pick a choice one for inclusion in a published letter to the editor?

Sheesh, if that letter is representative, the Times and Democrat letters page has got to be worse than even that of the Miami Herald.

See what I mean?

8 comments:

  1. Outta here to "windsurf" SFL?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just once, when you leave before 5, why can't you call it what 92% of your readers do- and say "ßhumie Time?"

    ReplyDelete
  3. you're way too sensitive. i've got lots of friends who are jews. sure, they never pay for shit, but they're never working and always available for a round of golf.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow, talk about an insensitive comment. Yikes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Them bible-belt Republicans got a secrete plan to get rich by moving to New York and selling horn sharpeners to Jews. Genius.

    ReplyDelete
  6. fake Henny YoungmanOctober 20, 2009 at 8:24 AM

    A priest, a preacher and a Rabbi walked into their favorite bar, where they would get together two or three times a week for drinks and to talk shop.

    On this particular afternoon, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

    One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

    Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience.

    Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first.
    "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

    Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

    They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape.

    The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

    ReplyDelete
  7. hollywood-Miami InsiderOctober 20, 2009 at 8:32 AM

    The story of a mildly successful lawyer who is known for taking off work early and is shunned by everyone and goes on a game show and wins a million bucks!!!

    Shumdog Millionaire now casting with James Gandolfini as Shumie, David Spade as Young Jon Blecher, and Edward James Olmos as Judge Federico Moreno!

    ReplyDelete