Thursday, October 8, 2009

ERISA!! (PACER Surfing Thursday)


You heard me, I'm talking ERISA.

ERISA!!

Fed law clerks, you know what I'm talking about. You got to admit it, you get a little excited when you see a complaint come in and it deals with that provocative statute on steroids.

In fact I'll go so far as to say that an ERISA case is nearly as exciting as a social security appeal -- minus all the sexiness and bodice-ripping drama.

I mean, where else can you find this kind of forceful, thrilling, even daring argument:
Plaintiffs’ ERISA claims (Counts 1 through 3) must be dismissed for their failure to exhaust their administrative remedies. Independently, the ERISA claims against Stiefel Laboratories, Inc. (hereinafter the “Company”) must be dismissed because the Company is not a fiduciary of the Employee Stock Bonus Plan (“ESBP”), and these Plaintiffs (none of whom “diversified” their ESBP account holdings) lack standing to assert Count 3, which is based upon an alleged prohibited transaction under ERISA in connection with the ESBP diversification opportunity in February 2009.
If that doesn't make you stand up and proclaim YES I AM A LAWYER DAMMIT! I don't know what does.

(BTW, that's Dandy Dave Coulson on the brief, and he actually does a good job with it and the 10b-5 claims as well).

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

DULL DULL and DULL.

I'm calling the holiday weekend Shumie.

Anonymous said...

Kate Bosworth exciting. ERISA not so much.

Anonymous said...

Dullsville.

Give us something more.

Anonymous said...

Ditto 3:07.

Anonymous said...

Dullard.

South Florida Lawyers said...

Ok ok.

I don't want to speak for David, but this condition is known as "ERISA envy."

Anonymous said...

Windsurfing envy. SFL envy.

Miguel M. de la O said...

Can a cartoon about ERISA ever be funny? You be the judge: http://www.courtoons.net/2009/03/19/erisa/

Glenn Garvin's Ghost said...

A sampling from David Coulson's random anagram generator-

A COLD VOID SUN

CALVIN DODO US

SLAVIC ODD UNO

VULCAN ODD I SO

CAN VOID OLD US

AVOID COLD SUN

Which file should I bill this to?

Anonymous said...

Ask GG.