Monday, December 14, 2009

SFL Monday -- Must Be Santa.



So I biked into work this morning, cigar in hand, across the causeway against a light blue sky and light green sea, breezy birds and boozy work crews, beautiful women and ugly dogs, walking clubs, backpackers, lost tourists, unlit Christmas lights, Chabad Houses, iced coffees, sleeping men and bike lanes that start and stop inexplicably for no apparent reason.

God I don't feel like working this morning.

5 comments:

  1. Dear SFL,

    I received this today and want to sign the client up, would you be willing to serve as co-counsel, It saddens me to think our country is so misunderstood.

    The Will notarization seems a little funny, but hey, who are we to questions another country's practices?

    Yours Truly,

    Fake George Bush

    Attn. Sir/Madam,

    My name is ___________, Senior Board of Trustee Credimpex Finance Company Ghana Ltd
    This mail might come to you as a surprise since I do not know you and you do not know me, but I have a proposal to put before you.

    Before I proceed, I would like to explain some relevant facts to you. Before this mail got to you, I have sent out several proposals of this nature to foreigners, non Africans, but I received negative response. So I took it upon me to carry out investigation, I found out that certain junior officials of this organization and bank had gotten wind of this proposal and were using it to swindle people of their money without successfully fulfilling the real aim of the transaction.

    I then swung into action and have taken another step to ensure that this act is stopped and only genuine officials capable to execute a transaction of this magnitude to a successful conclusion were selected. To this effect, the transaction has been registered with a particular lawyer who will handle the whole event based on legal pursuit.
    Now the proposal is thus: With due sense of responsibility, I don't know how far you are related to Mr. ______ family an Arab Oil consultant/contractor with the Shell Petroleum Company? He died on board with the Swiss air Flight 111, which crashed into the Atlantic of Nova Scotia in September 2nd 1998.

    The plane crash was in the news. My Organization will be grateful to entrust some fund in your account custody belonging to the deceased. He had a (Fixed) Deposit account with ICB International Commercial Bank of Ghana, valued at US$38,000,000.00 (Thirty Eight Million United States Dollars).
    Ever since then, a routine notification has been sent several times to me by the contract Employee, Shell Petroleum Company to activate the account since the deceased made a declaration of inheritance to the Organization.
    But, I have this fear of been hunted by the public if I venture get this money to my Organization account and the management of the ICB is already sending RED alert to confiscate the fund by the first quarter of 2010, since the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum for many years. Please, I want you to stand in as the relative or next of Kin to the deceased even if you are not related to him. I will immediately employ the service of his lawyer to notarize the WILL to your name and forward to the bank all necessary documents for the transfer.

    I knew this will sound strange and surprising, even with lots of doubt and distrust in your heart. But still, I need you help to secure this found out of the bank and invest wisely in your country. Just name your prize for this assistance; 50/50 is acceptable to me. I have to save the fruits of the old man's labor before it get to the hands of this corrupt selfish people with their nefarious deeds, whose interest is to confiscate this fund.
    As soon as you consent to this request, with proof of your seriousness and sincerity to do business with me without betrayal, because you are at the receiving end promising not to elope with the money which is of mutual benefit to both of us. I will consult the Bank for the mode of payment which is optional.

    Looking forward to your urgent anticipation to this offer.

    If you mind please contact me on my private email ID<_____________@yahoo.com > And my Tel: #+233 ______________

    Regards
    Mr. ___________.

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  2. Oy veh, Dylan's a Christian again!

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  3. Nice SFL. You captured the crazy scene well. 11:14, get back on your meds.

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  4. I am going to guess Rickenbacker.

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  5. vrzzxfgrb, Xrumer how to , YZKJesk.

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