Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Try Resveratrol Risk Free -- HAHAHAHAHA

resveratrolbullcrap

Oh how I love the "least-sophisticated consumer"!

Although the 11th apparently thinks this mythical animal remains capable of certain basic informed decisionmaking, I'm not so sure.

Two words: Sarah Palin.

Regardless, we recently discussed the 11th Circuit's affirmance of a Rule 12(b)(6) order of dismissal involving contract terms obliquely referenced in the complaint, as opposed to converting the motion to a summary judgment as a more prudent approach and one more consistent with the policy dictates of Rule 56.

Well, I don't want to say a little birdie in Judge Cohn's chambers chirped about our musings, but let's just say a little birdie in Judge Cohn's chambers decided to do exactly as we suggested:
For the foregoing reasons, it is hereby ORDERED AND ADJUDGED as follows:

1. Defendant’s Motion to Dismiss [DE 12] is DENIED as to the issues of choice of law and pleading fraud with particularity, but a ruling is DEFERRED on the issue of whether the Complaint states a cause of action and unreasonable reliance, because the Motion to Dismiss is hereby converted into a motion for summary judgment pursuant to Rule 12(d) on that issue;

2. Between now and May 13, 2010, Plaintiff may engage in discovery solely on the issues raised in the Declaration of Brian Weiss [DE 12-1], particularly the issue of which Terms and Conditions were part of the free trial offer;

3. Written discovery shall be served by April 9, 2010, with responses expedited slightly to May 4, 2010;

4. Plaintiff shall file a response to Defendant’s converted Motion [DE 12] by May 14, 2010;

5. The Joint Motion to Amend Scheduling Order and Continue Trial Date [DE 18] is hereby GRANTED. Class certification issues are deferred until after a ruling on
the converted Motion for Summary Judgment, at which time the Court will reset the schedule if necessary.
That wasn't so hard, was it?

(Now watch, the defendant takes it up and the 11th reverses.)

Wasn't my idea Judge!

23 comments:

  1. You're a Bolero-obsessed policy geek, SFL.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shhhhh Shumie time!

    Beautiful day. Squeeze in 9 at the Coral Gables CC.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Motion to convert work time to SHUMIE TIME.

    ReplyDelete
  4. CALL THE SHUMIE!

    ReplyDelete
  5. MOST SEARCHED ITEMS ON S

    1.Scott Rothstein

    2."Kim Rothstein is a hottie"

    3."Iqbal, latina into windsurfing and Bolero"

    4."have secretary file to do list on CM/ECF"

    5. Shumie, Shumie Time Inc. Eye On Shumie

    6. No. of times SFL "windsurfs" with his latina

    7. Looking up "health posts" on SFL BLOG.

    ReplyDelete
  6. MOST SEARCHED ITEMS ON SFL

    1.Scott Rothstein

    2."Kim Rothstein is a hottie"

    3."Iqbal, latina into windsurfing and Bolero"

    4."have secretary file to do list on CM/ECF"

    5. Shumie, Shumie Time Inc. Eye On Shumie

    6. No. of times SFL "windsurfs" with his latina

    7. Looking up "health posts" SFL BLOG.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Spotted the big man in a red convertible. SHUMIE TIME! Call it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This blog has given new meaning to the word "windsurfing"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Windsurfing-- a surface water sport that combines elements of surfing and sailing

    "Windsurfing"-- make love on land or water. Bolero, Tanqueray Gin optional.

    ReplyDelete
  10. FU fake Wax. I'm busting my butt looking at intoxilyzer print outs on line.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Is "windsurfing" on the sabbath allowed? Anyone?

    ReplyDelete
  12. 6:02-- That is one definition. SFL has another. Insert 'latina' below--

    "Windsurfing"-- make love on land or water. Bolero, Tanqueray Gin optional.


    Jack Benny

    ReplyDelete
  13. Spotted the big man himself on the arms of Kimmie.

    ReplyDelete
  14. He 'diets' like he 'windsurfs.'

    ReplyDelete
  15. There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes. ~ Fred Allen

    "I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers."

    "Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air."

    Jack Benny

    ReplyDelete
  16. The SFL Diet- "G.B.L." Gin, Bolero, Latina

    ReplyDelete
  17. Jack Benny? Alan King!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Soupy Sales folks.

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  19. I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.

    ReplyDelete
  20. SFL. How is it that you beat the pants off the UM prof trying to write at David's blog? I mean, you are a practicing lawyer and still manage to write more And more interesting stuff than that guy! What the fuck?

    ReplyDelete
  21. 8:18, thanks and I appreciate that, but he does a good job over there.

    Let me tell you -- this nonsense is harder than it looks.

    ReplyDelete
  22. (first radio appearance) Hello, folks, this is Jack Benny. There will be a slight pause while everyone says, "Who cares?"

    ReplyDelete
  23. Last night, Jack Benny played Mendelssohn. Mendelssohn lost.

    ReplyDelete