Saturday, May 1, 2010

FBA B SD FL BABC Awards!


Don't you hate lawyers who insist on lengthy, unwieldy acronyms to denote a party in a brief when it is abundantly obvious who is being referred to?

Last I checked, these acronyms (or initialisms?) are supposed to assist, ease or otherwise make the reading experience better for the reader, not clog up a brief with technically accurate yet preposterously long combinations of random initials that serve no purpose other than to make your sentences unreadable.

Alright, onto the FBA B SD FL BABC awards!

Best 70s building that was vaguely updated at some point in the late 80s:

Doral!

Yep, that hulking, aging colossus served us well and showed us that hairy old dogs can still teach us youngins a thing or two (no, I'm not referring to Bob Josefsberg).

Best meat market to pick up other lawyers or judges:

The "networking sessions" near the main ballroom!

It was hot, tight, and filled with lots of attractive people holding glasses filled with dark liquids. All we needed was a disco ball and some Kool and the Gang and those "sessions" could have taken on a whole new meaning.

Best no-show that made the event much much better:

This one's a no brainer --
We regret that scheduled keynote speaker Associate Justice Clarence Thomas has a Supreme Court conflict which will prevent his participation.
Sorry, swlip!

Actually, Judge Dubina was pretty interesting (if you could hear him above the din).

Hey schmuckies, when the Chief Judge of the 11th Circuit is addressing you, shut the hail up and eat your chow.

Best-run plenary session by a guy who actually dressed up nice and wore a suit and tie for the occasion:

Who else -- Scotty D!

Kudos to Brian Spector and Adam Rabin and all the organizers, judges and participants for making this the best FBA B SD FL BABC yet.

(Boy, that really rolls off the tongue.)

15 comments:

  1. Nice. Thomas can do less damage here than in DC, SFL.

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  2. Shumie Splinter Cell!May 2, 2010 at 9:31 AM

    Deep inside the JTAC (Joint Terrorist Assessment Center) in the Chataqua Mountain range:

    Gen: Get to it. I have to be at the White House by noon.

    Colonel: We have a briefing on four suspected cells that have been identified in ....

    Gen: Just get to the Miami one. That concerns the President the most. My adjunct will get the data on the others later.

    Colonel: About two years ago analysts from the NSA began monitoring chatter from a loosely knit group called Shumie. They recruit members by ostensibly promoting a lifestyle centered around the concept that you can work less and earn more if you follow their dictates.

    Gen: Who comprises the organization?

    Colonel: Unknown exactly at this time sir, but the cell we have penetrated has members from the Black November Palestinian group, the Red October Soviet Group, Sinn Fein from Norther Ireland, and disaffected attorneys from the ABA.

    Gen: What do they want to accomplish?

    Colonel: Theories within the NSA vary, but we believe this is a splinter cell from a larger communist organization designed to disrupt and destroy the american capitalist system by encouraging people to work less.

    Gen: Recommendations that I can take to Washington?

    Colonel: At this time we are continuing our efforts to penetrate the cell. We are monitoring the chatter. The first organized meeting is supposed to take place this week on Wednesday. They're calling it Cinco De Shumie, and it appears to a massive work stoppage protest with some involvement with Mexican socialist groups.

    Gen: OK Gentlemen. That is all for now. Keep me up to date.

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  3. The Fastest Mouse in all MexicoMay 2, 2010 at 11:19 AM

    "¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!"

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  4. Aging Hulking ColossusMay 2, 2010 at 12:11 PM

    Si Si!

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  5. Judge Altonaga googles potential jurors during voir dire. Seriously.

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  6. Fake Scott DimondMay 2, 2010 at 10:37 PM

    why do you hate me?

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  7. No she doesn't, 9:17, that was Judge Moreno and he was joking.

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  8. Uncle Miltie is a judge!

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  9. SFL...dude...wake up! Where is the morning post - I'm Jonesing baby.

    Where is Greenberg Gal?

    Where is the Princess?

    Any new hotties to take their place?

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  10. No apology necessary, SFL - glad to know you've got my back!

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  11. Shumie Splinter Cell!May 3, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    Greenberg Gal-- whereabouts unknown.

    The Princess-- SFLs' Chevy,

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  12. The Great Outdoors was better.

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  13. Uncle Buck was best.

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  14. I fully match with whatever thing you have written.
    1 | 6 | 3

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