Friday, May 28, 2010

Next Time, Make Them Play the Game of Life!


It's funny how litigators argue over the most minor things.

A perennial source of unchecked petty lawyer impulses is the location and timing of depositions.

It has to be on "my turf" or -- at worst -- a "neutral location."

For some, traveling to opposing counsel's office for a deposition is akin to the French surrendering at a certain historic railway car in Compiegne.

How humiliating!

That's why MD FL Judge Presnell seems to get it:
Faced with the inability of two bickering attorneys to resolve even the most innocuous scheduling questions without his intervention, a Florida federal judge yesterday ordered the two to meet on the steps of the federal courthouse and resolve their latest quarrel by playing "one (1) game of 'rock, paper, scissors.' " (Read the ruling.)

Judge Gregory A. Presnell of Orlando ordered the unusual measure, which he characterized as "a new form of alternative dispute resolution," after the two Tampa attorneys had proven unable to agree upon where to hold a deposition, even though both of their offices are just four floors away in the very same building in Tampa. Defense attorney D. Lee Craig, of Butler Pappas Weihmuller Katz Craig, proposed holding the deposition in his office, but plaintiffs' attorney David J. Pettinato of Merlin Law Group wanted it to take place at the court reporter's office down the street.

Which is more humiliating -- "capitulating" to a juvenile power game played by opposing counsel and going to their office for a deposition, or having a federal judge order you to play "rock, paper, scissors" to resolve this inane discovery dispute?

15 comments:

  1. This judge is an amateur. Rock, paper, scissors? Really?

    The only fair way to resolve these conflicts is nude oil wrestling! They can even make it 'pay per view' and use the revenue to avoid the drastic budget cuts that are threatening the court system.

    Win - Win! :-)

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  2. SFL's mind is a bewildering mix of Venetian Salami, women, gin, Nazis, comic books, Dylan, and Adam Sandler movies.

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  3. 9:27- And finding new ways to rock the chevy. How is the "tutoring" session SFL -- the latina pass the "oral" test?

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  4. This blog is too funny.

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  5. This is not a first:

    June 9, 2006
    TAMPA, Fla. - A federal judge, miffed at the inability of opposing attorneys to agree on even the slightest details of a lawsuit, ordered them to settle their latest dispute with a game of “rock, paper, scissors.”

    The argument was over a location to take the sworn statement of a witness in an insurance lawsuit.

    In an order signed Tuesday, U.S. District Judge Gregory Presnell scolded both sides and ordered them to meet at a neutral location at 4 p.m. June 30 to play a round of the hand-gesture game often used to settle childhood disputes. If they can’t agree on the neutral location, he said, they’ll play on the steps of the federal courthouse.

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  6. I love that they have to go to the courthouse to do it. Bet they settle it before hand. Although, I don't think I would, I am good at that game...

    One...

    Two...

    Three...

    Shoot! (Rock) BEEOTCHES!

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  7. I need to feel 'healthy.'

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  8. Paper!

    Now pay me motherfucker!

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  9. SFL if you can pull yourself away from "tutoring" with the latina--- we need the "health" post.

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  10. Butler PapASS lawyers can't get along with anyone. Just ask them.

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  11. fake Glenn GreenwaldMay 28, 2010 at 3:36 PM

    The reason this is so significant -- the reason I'm writing about it again -- is because forced adherence to the two parties' orthodoxies, forced allegiance to the two parties' establishments, is the most potent weapon in status quo preservation. That's how our political debates remain suffocatingly narrow, the permanent power factions in Washington remain firmly in control, the central political orthodoxies remain largely unchallenged. Neither party nor its loyalists are really willing to undermine the prevailing political system because that's the source of their power. And neither parties' loyalists are really willing to oppose serious expansions or abuses of government power when their side is in control, and no serious challenge is therefore ever mounted; the only ones who are willing to do so are the Crazies.

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  12. where is the hail is thhe "health" post? enough rocking the van sfl!

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  13. I love the latina. Latina- do you love me? Well do ya?

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  14. One of the largest A-Holes in the Miami legal community is Charles De Leo of Fowler White Burnett. This guy is a real fraud. On top of that he only knows how to defame others be it a business or, mostly, individuals, with never a kind word to say about anyone. He would defame Jesus Chirst. He belongs at the table in the photos, if he could only remove the pole which is up his ass.
    As a woman lawyer, I know he looks down upon all females, lawyer or not. If your adverse to him, he will settle, never will he try a case, never---he wont know how and cant..What a fraud....and an ass.

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