Thursday, June 3, 2010

Chinese Drywall Defense: Some People Want Their House To Smell Like Farts!

Dear readers, I have let you down.

An alert tipster pointed out a story I missed this morning.

How this escaped my attention is a mystery but I am deeply sorry.

Anyways, here goes:
But in a sworn deposition in May, Banner executive Scott Giering said he wasn't aware of any problem with the Chinese-made drywall his company sold, other than through media reports. When Gonzalez asked him about if he was aware the drywall smelled bad, Giering said that was up for interpretation.

"Some people happen to like rotten egg smells,'' Giering said.

"Smells like flatulence, doesn't it,'' Gonzalez asked, to which Giering replied, "Some people happen to like that.''

Giering continued:
Giering: Yeah, you know like how in your car you let rip a giant fart and turn off the A/C and close your windows and your car becomes a rolling Dutch Oven? What can I say, some people just really dig the smell of farts. Here it's like your whole house is a permanent Dutch Oven fartfest, except all the farts are Chinese! It's great. These homeowners should really be thanking us for this.

[turns to defense counsel]: Ouch! Stop kicking me under the table.

Defense counsel: Is this a good time for a break?


Anonymous said...

you missed it because you were busy planning for friday, sfl.

Anonymous said...


F. Ross Johnson said...

F. Ross Johnson: We've spent 350 million dollars and we come up with a turd with a tip? God almighty, Ed! We put enough technology in this project to send a cigarette to the moon and we come up with one that tastes like it took a dump?

Edward A. Horrigan Jr.: We haven't even talked about the smell.

F. Ross Johnson: Oh what did they say that was like? A fart?

Edward A. Horrigan Jr.: Yep.

F. Ross Johnson: Oh you're not serious! They really said that?

2nd Scientist: We have an awful lot of fart figures.

F. Ross Johnson: Tastes like shit and smells like a fart! Got ourselves one hell of a product on our hands it's one unique advertising strategy I'll tell ya that.

Smelly McFartson said...

Quite possibly your finest post ever!

The Economist said...

Since 2006 Israel has limited the import of various goods to the Hamas-controlled territory to a “humanitarian minimum”, though there is no official list for traders to observe. Instead, Israel makes decisions on a case-by-case basis, which has resulted in an odd assortment of prohibited items, as detailed by Gisha, an Israeli human-rights organisation. Newspapers, tea, A4 paper and chocolate are among the items that have at one point been barred.

Ima Ripper said...

Best post in forever!

Anonymous said...

He who smelt it dealt it!

Anonymous said...

callin a shum- it's drunk week on the Howard Stern reruns, so naturally I want to drink. Storms abound- so maybe it's time to pull up a stool at Fox's Sheron Inn and have more than a few and kill the evening.

Anonymous said...

‘Beans, beans, good for your heart.
Beans, beans will make you fart.’

How Can I Mask the Smell of a Fart?

Dr. Fartstein: It is said that the best thing to do if you fart in public is to act all innocent and if that fails, blame someone else. Be careful of that last tactic though as they may retort with ‘Whoever smelt it dealt it.’

FYI: On the average a fart is composed of about 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide. Most people casually assume that it is possible that a very strong fart could rip through a pair of trousers you were wearing. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it is just not possible. No fart could rip through trousers.

Anonymous said...

BTW-- comments about farts and flea markets make this blog the best ever.

Anonymous said...

All male lawyers think of farts. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

Did I miss April Fool's Day? Is this for real? Dutch oven farts....

Anonymous said...

7:23-- farts, flea markets and "health" posts make this the best blog ever.

Brice said...

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