Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Dramatic Chinese Drywall Confrontation: When Did You Stop Liking The Smell of Farts?



In a dramatic turnaround, Chinese Drywall defendant Banner Supply's controller Scott Giering recanted his fart-embracing deposition testimony on the stand yesterday:

The first witness to take the stand was Banner controller Scott Giering, who had said during a deposition that some people might actually like the smell caused by drywall in some homes -- that of rotten eggs or flatulence.

"I truly regret that statement that some people like that smell or enjoy that smell,'' Giering said. "I would prefer not to live in a house that smells like rotten eggs.''

Under an ENTIRELY FICTIONAL cross-examination, however, Giering's tough anti-fart stand evaporated into the ether, leaving only the faint taint of warmed-over Indian food:
Ervin Gonzalez: Did you or did you not tell me in your deposition that some people like farts?

Scott Giering: Yes, I did. But I have an explanation.

EG: You do? Go ahead and share your "flatulence epiphany" with the jury.

SG: I prayed for guidance, and realized in my heart that farts truly do smell bad.

EG: Oh sure you did.

SG: No, really, my testimony today is the truth. I'm sorry for any confusion.

EG: {Ppwwwwwtttt}

SG: (uncomfortable silence)

EG: (turns rear towards witness and waves hands furiously)

SG: Oh god. Oh oh god. (starts crying) That's lovely, that's truly lovely! My is that aroma amazing.....please one more, oh God oh oh.......

EG: (glances knowingly at jury) I have nothing further, your honor.

49 comments:

  1. OMG

    Best.

    Post.

    Ever.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A'right, SFL has brought the fart post again! Remember kids, he who asks who farted.....farted!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Please replace the photo at the top of the post with the Ervin photo.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Barbara BillingsleyJune 9, 2010 at 9:48 AM

    Ward! I think we have a slight problem with SFL. He is obsessed with farts again. BTW you were a little hard on the beaver last night. Just sayin.

    ReplyDelete
  5. paging dr bombay-- is it possible to poison yourself if you hold in your own fart?

    ReplyDelete
  6. 9:46, I can't do that to Ervin -- he's in trial and I want him to keep his focus.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Retaining flatus is harmful to your health. My friend in Rome Emperor Clauduis passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health.
    Retaining farts will give you hemorrhoids.

    Dr. Bombay

    ReplyDelete
  8. Truly hysterical. Made even funnier by the protagonist being Erv. The mental picture is too much. COuld only be better if it was, say, Herman Russomanno.

    Post of the year.

    ReplyDelete
  9. And the fart goes on.... La dee da dee dee!

    ReplyDelete
  10. The holidays are a time ed hardy of getting together with friends ed hardy shoes and family, attending elaborate ed hardy clothing parties, and other exciting events ed hardy clothes that involves dressing up in stunning ed hardy store wardrobes. If you ed hardy Bikini are pregnant during ed hardy swimsuits the holidays, it does not ed hardy Caps mean that you are unable buy ed hardy to look fabulous and ed hardy swimwear stylish. Now, an expectant ed hardy sale mother has many styles of chic ed hardy glasses maternity clothing that allows cheap ed hardy her to show off her baby bump Christian audigier while looking spectacular.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Aus wirtschaftlichen Vorteilen ist der beste Weg zu einem lockeren thomas sabo onlineshop Edelstein der gewünschten Größe und Farbe finden und fragen Sie einen erfahrenen Juwelier zu einem perfekten Ring angebote thomas sabo armketten Akzent machen die Qualitäten des Steins. Da der Mondstein ist sehr empfindlich sind sie anfällig für Kratzer und Beschädigungen. Daher sollte Armband mit Anhänger die richtige Pflege gegeben, während sie tragen werden. Nur milde Reinigungsmittel und ein weiches Tuch zur Reinigung sollte them.Many Paare denken, dass traditionelle thomas sabo armkette

    ReplyDelete
  12. Place one matted light pandora Jewelry left of the area for jewellery, and one to the right. pandora sale Place reflector light near where the camera is. Whatever you do, avoid mixing light types. pandora charms Use only non-fluorescent lights, and isolate your photo 'lab' away from natural light. pandora bracelets To have freedom with many settings that will be a must, we will have to use longer exposures. For longer exposures to pandora bracelet achieve maximum sharpness, we'll need a tripod. pandora bracelets sale Our hand shakes too much, when camera runs at exposition Buy a 'tripod' for You don't need a heavy duty tripod. pandora bangles If your setup will be on a desk, you can chose mini tripod - approx and stand tripod on the pandora necklaces desk as well, or longer tripod, approxand stand it on the floor. pandora beads Two desk lamps with soft light irrelevant if you are using photo tent -- the tent is there to soften the light and reflector light at the front. pandora earrings I keep the cube open at the front, for easier adjustments and photographs, unless jewellery is highly reflective of the image of me taking photograph. Uniform background colour is recommended. White background works great.

    ReplyDelete
  13. xanax cheap klonopin vs xanax withdrawal - xanax withdrawal vertigo

    ReplyDelete
  14. buy ativan ativan withdrawal stories - ativan drug overdose

    ReplyDelete
  15. zolpidem no prescription zolpidem er 12.5mg tab - zolpidem tartrate 10 mg image

    ReplyDelete
  16. buy xanax 1mg xanax side effects anger - xanax online order

    ReplyDelete
  17. buy ativan online ativan dosage usage - lorazepam 1 mg what does it look like

    ReplyDelete
  18. online diazepam diazepam dosage size - where to buy diazepam 2mg

    ReplyDelete
  19. valium antidepressant valium xanax online - valium benefits and side effects

    ReplyDelete
  20. diazepam dosage diazepam 10 mg comprimidos - 5mg diazepam erowid

    ReplyDelete
  21. ativan pills comprar lorazepam online - buy ativan online canada

    ReplyDelete
  22. buy alprazolam online without prescription xanax side effects depression - generic xanax vs alprazolam

    ReplyDelete
  23. generic diazepam online there generic diazepam - diazepam 5 mg normon

    ReplyDelete
  24. ativan 2mg want to buy ativan - what is generic ativan

    ReplyDelete
  25. buy xanax online cod xanax bars yellow mg - xanax side effects on men

    ReplyDelete
  26. xanax no rx xanax online without rx - xanax bars alp

    ReplyDelete
  27. lorazepam no prescription ativan side effects eyes - ativan side effects skin

    ReplyDelete
  28. buy xanax online without rx will 2mg xanax do me - how many xanax pills get you high

    ReplyDelete
  29. zolpidem no prescription buy ambien online usa - price of ambien cr without insurance

    ReplyDelete
  30. buy valium online buy valium diazepam uk - withdrawal from 5mg valium

    ReplyDelete
  31. buy ambien online legally generic ambien at walmart - generic ambien teva 74

    ReplyDelete
  32. buy soma online generic soma 250 - somanabolic muscle maximizer and all bonus programs

    ReplyDelete
  33. buy valium online cheap pass valium drug test - valium sale bulk

    ReplyDelete
  34. soma price carisoprodol 350 mg soma - somanabolic muscle maximizer bodybuilding

    ReplyDelete
  35. soma cost buy soma a+ - soma drug overdose

    ReplyDelete
  36. buy ambien online zolpidem sleeping pills side effects - ambien withdrawal paranoia

    ReplyDelete
  37. cheapest valium mail order valium no prescription - cheap valium buy online

    ReplyDelete
  38. buy valium online generic valium photos - side effects going off valium

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hello, buy atorvastatin online - buy lipitor http://www.costoflipitoronline.net/#buy-lipitor

    ReplyDelete
  40. Drugs In Poverty topiramate 25mg - order topamax online http://www.topamaxforless.com/

    ReplyDelete
  41. dalsCleax buy lasix without rx - where can i buy lasix http://www.lasixonlinesale.com/#where-can-i-buy-lasix

    ReplyDelete
  42. Drug Detox Srink Ratings buy meridia no prescription - meridia cost http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#meridia-cost , [url=http://www.meridiaonlineorder.net/#where-to-buy-meridia-diet-pills ]where to buy meridia diet pills [/url]

    ReplyDelete
  43. Friends, buy fluoxetine online - cheap prozac no prescription http://www.prozaccheaponline.net/#cheap-prozac-no-prescription , [url=http://www.prozaccheaponline.net/#fluoxetine-no-prescription ]fluoxetine no prescription [/url]

    ReplyDelete
  44. rvb cymbalta sale - cheap cymbalta no prescription http://www.cymbaltaonlineprice.net/#cheap-cymbalta-no-prescription , [url=http://www.cymbaltaonlineprice.net/#duloxetine-no-prescription ]duloxetine no prescription [/url]

    ReplyDelete
  45. 4, buy provigil - order provigil http://www.energyofprovigil.net/#cheap-modafinil, generic modafinil

    ReplyDelete
  46. Me and ozzy fucked more difficult, trying to show to our god!

    FUCK YES!' right before cumming inside my warm pussy. were still fucking

    Here is my blog post: hcg injections
    Also see my web site: hcg injections

    ReplyDelete
  47. An imprеssive ѕhare! Ӏ have just forwаrԁed thіs ontο
    а co-wоrkeг who wаѕ сonducting а little геѕеarсh on thiѕ.
    And he аctuаlly bought me lunch beсause I disсovered іt for him.
    .. lol. Sο allow mе to гeworԁ this.
    ... Τhanks for the meаl!! But уeah, thanх for sрending timе to discusѕ
    thiѕ topіс heгe on youг internet site.


    Μу pаge - weight loss vancouver

    ReplyDelete
  48. This is а vеry good tiр
    eѕpeciаlly to thoѕe frеѕh to
    the blogoѕphеre. Brief but νery accuгate
    іnformation… Thanks for shаring this onе.
    A muѕt read artіcle!

    Chеck оut my pagе ... hcg diet blog
    Also see my webpage > http://www.nortevisionsrl.com.ar/Constance

    ReplyDelete