Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Alvin Davis To Officially Adopt English Accent!

I understand he's going for a more acerbic Hugh Grant:
After more than two months of talks, London-based Hammonds agreed to merge with Squire effective Jan. 1, 2011. The new firm will have 1,275 lawyers in 37 offices in 17 countries and become a significant player in the international arena. In the United States, the firm will retain the Squire Sanders & Dempsey name.

In Miami, where Squire has 35 lawyers, few changes are expected, said managing partner Luis Reiter. But he said he expects the global platform to bring in new business for the Miami office, particularly in the area of international dispute resolution.

“I think it’s very exciting,” Reiter said. “It’s a really significant expansion for the firm. For Miami, this is particularly important, because it gives us a more expanded global platform, and our clients will benefit from the additional resources.”
 Reiter added "I might say we're a bit buggered about losing all dental coverage, Benny Hill is quite a good chap, pip pip cheerio and all that rot and bollocks to you!  Bloody 'ell!  Did I say that right?"


Anonymous said...

That's some press release:

"Squire Sanders is chuffed to announce they they hae merged with a British law firm and are quite cock-a-hoop that they will get some British business to graft on in the Miami office, which has been quite dozy. In fact, we haven't had anything interesting to report given the copped orf economic situation since we bailed out those wankers at Steele Hector. We hope those arseholes in London don't expect us to say things like "anti-clockwise," "blimey," and "ssshedule."

Anonymous said...

Barry Craig finally in charge.

Anonymous said...

Reiter then further added:

The details of my life are quite inconsequential ... Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament ... My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon ... luge lessons ... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets ... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilmer ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's breathtaking ... I suggest you try it.