Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Chief Justice: All Courthouses Should Look Exactly Like the 3d DCA!

In a bold rejection of the much-derided, lavish "Taj Mahal" courthouse built for the fancy-pants judges up at the 1st DCA, Chief Justice Canady has issued an edict from on high -- from now on, every courthouse should be just like our weathered, treasured, workmanlike JusticeBunker™:
"The construction of a courthouse is a long-term investment in a building where important public business is done. But that does not justify extravagant expenditures.
"Courthouses should be dignified, durable and functional. They should not be grandiose, monumental and luxurious.''
"Indeed," the Chief Justice continued, "they should be made not with miles of rare African Sapele wood, but rather with concrete -- lots and lots of concrete."

In terms of aesthetic design, Justice Canady was quite specific:  "Instead of a magnificent edifice intended to convey the sweeping power, grandeur, and authority of the Law, courthouses should appear more like a hardened shelter, often buried partly or fully underground, designed to protect the inhabitants from falling bombs or other attacks."

For example, "toilets and sinks should be bolted down to withstand sudden impact, and mechanical rooms should double as exercise centers in order to encourage both good health and fundamentally sound building maintenance.

I am aware of such a court, built literally upon a highway....."

1 comment:

  1. those toilets receive a lot of "sudden impacts"