Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Ruden To Save Money By Closing Things!



Ruden McClosky has found a sure-fire way to save money, according to the Intrepid One™close offices!

Here's how it works -- when you close offices and fire people, you don't have to pay as much out in monthly overhead.

Why didn't Adorno Yoss figure this out?

(Wait a minute, they did.)

Here's the firm-wide email from chief muckety-muck Michael Krul:
I am pleased to provide you with the following confidential update.
Oh boy, that's a guarantee some angry partner will be emailing it around town.
Although we will continue to make sure that we are operating as efficiently as possible, we believe that our staffing level is now appropriate and do not anticipate that the firm will have any need to seek staff reductions in the near future and, hopefully, not for the long term. The inflow of new work is on the rise and our timekeepers are increasing their recorded time. This is a positive sign for improved revenues down the road.
Honey, I have great news!  My boss says "our staffing level is now appropriate" and they don't anticipate "staff reductions in the near future."

Unlike last year, we're going to make it through Hannukah.  Isn't that fantastic?

"Shut up and get me a drink."

2 comments:

  1. So then if all businesses and government offices simply fire everyone, every thing will be fine.

    Paul Ryan is such a hottie.

    ReplyDelete