Do you want your kid's birthday party to end in unmitigated tragedy?
Take a look:
First of all, this seems like extreme niche marketing -- would someone whose child was injured in a bounce house accident easily find this video on YouTube?
Maybe Spence is Google-optimized!
Secondly, based on concerns properly raised by Spence, I've taken steps to ensure my child's next birthday party is safe and accident-free:
1. I've removed all plastic cutlery, cups, plates and other choking hazards such as food or cake;
2. Balloons have been replaced with inflated safety gloves;
3. To prevent risk to others, no children or parents are permitted to attend; and
4. I've locked my child in a windowless, empty room for the duration of the party.
Happy Birthday Timmy!!!!