Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Hey, Let's Play Gay Marriage Roulette!

Supreme Court cases come, Supreme Court cases go but few have such a direct and personal effect on me as the ones being heard today and tomorrow and it is all about me, right? It is a little unnerving to know that men like Justices Scalia and Thomas have a say in whether or not I’m in a legal relationship. According to them being gay is ‘like being roommates,’ or beastiality or murder. FYI: it’s none of those things. Imagine one of them taking part in your nuptials. You say you do, your wife/husband says they do, then you look over to Scalia for the final word.

I’m a married gay man but live in Florida and here in Florida we have ye old Amendment 2, a constitutional ban on gay marriage, not unlike California’s Proposition 8. Amendment 2 combines with DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) to render my New England marriage license legally worth about as much as toilet paper. 

This is to protect children. Or the sanctity of marriage. Or something.

On the matter of children, any child is lucky to have one sane, caring adult in their life. Millions do not. If that sane, caring adult is a gay man or woman it is completely irrelevant. That child’s life is already miles ahead of those absent proper guardianship.

Obviously Scalia thinks gay sex is icky. Very icky. I might even say “he doth protest too much.” It’s a known fact that some of homosexuality's most vocal opponents are secretly homosexual themselves. And now I’m going to completely ruin your day with the mental image of justices Scalia, Thomas and Alito all naked and spooning.

I hope you found that image unnerving because I’m unnerved myself. You deserve to be as freaked as I am. There isn’t a simple yes or no answer that will come from these hearings. There are a plethora of possibilities. Fundamental aspects of my life are on the line!

Proposition 8 could be struck down in a wide ruling that would take other gay marriage bans like Florida’s Amendment 2 with it. A more narrow ruling could affect only those states with civil unions, converting those civil unions into full marriages. Another possibility is that the court would deny standing letting the lower court’s findings hold. Or SCOTUS could find that California was not entitled to withdraw a right to same-sex marriage once it had been established by the California Supreme Court. This would strike down Prop 8 but leave other, similar laws alone.

And then there’s DOMA. The court could strike down the law, uphold the law or claim lack of standing leaving the lower court's ruling in place.

Depending on what the court decides it’s possible that I will have marriage rights at the federal level but not the state or at the state level but not the federal. It’s also possible that I will be equal, that we will be equal, the only option that's not a total and complete mess.


Anonymous said...

I'm in the same position as you and I appreciate your post. Lawyers were actually arguing before the Supreme Court today (I'm a member) that it's OK to continue to discriminate against me. Kind of surreal. Weird day.

Anonymous said...

Crooked cops going back on their pledge based on a technicality??? Doesn't that help prove Dorner's crazy ass points?:

"When cop killer Christopher Dorner was on the loose and terrorizing southern California, some 30 groups joined together to put a $1 million price on his head. But after the former LAPD officer killed himself while barricaded in a mountain cabin in February, some of those groups have gotten stingy.

A law enforcement union became the latest of the contributors to voice second thoughts about its $60,000 share of the reward, following a similar decision by the city of Riverside to withdraw its pledge of $100,000. With Dorner dead and no shortage of prospective claims to the pot, it seems some of the groups behind the reward have developed an appreciation for fine print. Specifically, the part that authorized a payout for information leading to the "arrest" and "conviction.""

Godwhacker said...

Thanks for the comments 2:56. Yes it is a very weird day but I'm very optimistic about our chances tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

Please: a little less of Aronfeld's self promotional videos guised as philanthropy, and a lot more Howard Blumberg crushing it before SCOTUS. Talk about a guy who has truly devoted a career to fighting for the underdog. No blogs, talk shows or press conferences here - just hard work. He's twice the lawyer any of the motion calendar, PIP, slip and fall, condo commando, bulging disc, foreclosure hacks will ever be - and he's done it for peanuts. Congratulations to Howard and his staff on a job well done.

Anonymous said...


Dude - hate all you want against those guys that handle the cases you describe...but god forbid you ever slip on some soap on the ground in Macy's, or get rear ended sitting at a red light by some asshole in his BMW, and get a bulging disk or worse; then lose your minimum wage job because you can't do manual labor anymore.

You say fighting for the little guy and trash the guys that actually do it day in and day out.

Fucking hypocrite.

Rumpole said...


Anonymous said...

Love you bro. Peace.


Anonymous said...

3:32 PM:

Talk to any upstanding lawyer around town and ask them what it would take for them to decide to sue someone and subject their personal life and family to the scrutiny of judicial processors like you. Crap clients with crap claims go to crap lawyers. Always have, always will.

Anonymous said...

I'd vote for your right to marry in Florida any time you get up for an election. And while I probably wouldn't actively campaign myself, I'd support the heck out of your efforts to participate in democracy and persuade your fellow floridians of the rightness and justness of your cause.

Less appealing is an abandonment of such democratic principles and a plea to the courts to toss out election results.

Even less appealing is the inevitable... wait for it... here it comes... paragraph calling conservatives secret, closeted-gays. This bad joke ultimately turns on gay-bashing more than hypocrisy, of course. But that doesnt stop it appearing again and again.

Godwhacker said...


First of all "calling someone gay" is not an insult, except to those who think there is something wrong with being gay.

Second of all we have courts to protect rights, basic rights like marriage.

You should not be able to vote on my rights, that's why they're called rights.

Frack Democracy.

Anonymous said...


So which is it? Funny and appropriate to speculate and call someone gay, indulge in imagery of them "spooning" another man for laughs at their expense... or not at all funny and completely bullshit?

Oh wait, if it's someone who disagrees with your position it's cool. Otherwise it's trading in anti-gay sentiment. Got it.

Godwhacker said...


I'm sure it's comforting for someone of your ideological proclivities to confuse the victim with the abuser, but you're not going to get away with that bullshit on my watch. You imply a double standard, and there certainly is one.

I am a gay man who served in the military in utter fear, not just that I could be thrown out but that I could be murdered. This wasn't just some irrational fear. Indeed, two men that I served with were beaten to death for no other reason than their sexuality. Those hate crimes were perpetrated by those, who like Justices Thomas and Scalia, thought that there was something fundamentally wrong and inferior with homosexuals.

Least you think that's too far a stretch, Scalia has directly compared homosexuality with murder, a crime punishable by death.

Scalia has also compared my loving 14 year relationship with my husband and all the beautiful tenderness that entails to an act of bestiality. So if I want to make a little crack about how he and the other homophobes on the court might be doing each other, BFD. It's kid gloves compared to the way I have been treated by him.

This is the douche bag who in 2003 voted against my fundamental right to experience intimacy with my partner in the privacy of our own home.

I have no power over Scalia, but he has massive power over me. Any comment made by me against him can't be "bashing" because it is a pebble thrown by the helpless against the mighty.

If I did have any power over those men I would stay my words. Because I have no hate in my soul, no guilt to cover.

Guilt, that's why those jokes about conservatives are so pervasive, because they are so true.

From the Catholic Church to the Halls of Congress, self hate is everywhere.

Did I mention what a wide stance you have?

Anonymous said...

Ouch, don't piss off Godwhacker.

Anonymous said...

Whacker - what are you wearing?


NB go get em.

Godwhacker said...

The usual GB, just a jockstrap and some combat boots.

Anonymous said...

Why is it that every post brings out an Aronfeld hater? Every attorney takes on clients who can't pay. Every attorney markets in some way. Haters don't do either and just leave comments on the work of others.

Anonymous said...

Because he is douchetastic.

That's why.

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