Monday, July 1, 2013

I'm Back! (The Situation, Not So Much).



Hi kids, did June even happen?

It feels like a Dallas/Newhart fever dream, what with Guest Blogger, Godwhacker, someone named Faker SFL, someone named "Patrick Goggins" (I'm kidding!), lots of prurient content (if you're grumpy gus Scalia) -- plus a certified Time Traveler.

I wish I could say I'm fully rested and restored, but I spent a month in sybaritic pursuit of frivolous, purely hedonistic pleasures, pushing myself to and beyond all known mental and physical limits, until I literally collapsed from exhaustion, unable to imbibe through my senses or pores even one more delectable morsel of transitory joy from my decadent surroundings, leaving me drained and emptied of all energy and life force, quaking quietly and gasping for breath as I pulled myself together and somehow crawled with trembling hands and unsteady feet back into my law office.

And summer's just kicking in!

Let's start the week off with a thorough, devastating legal defeat for our good friend The Situation, courtesy of the always dapper Magistrate Judge O'Sullivan:
The undersigned finds that the plaintiffs have failed to present a triable issue of fact as to whether the defendants’ “The Fitchuation” t-shirt was likely to confuse consumers into believing that the shirt came from the plaintiff rather than A&F. Additionally, the plaintiffs did not satisfy their burden of showing that they had valid rights to “The Situation” as a trademark covering apparel at the time that A&F introduced its “The Fitchuation” t-shirt.
See, this is important legal stuff!

My informed legal opinion:  Once the Houlinatorentered an appearance, put a stick in it, The Situation was done.

But that's why God gave us appellate courts, right?

12 comments:

Godwhacker said...

Tight abs are good for a night or two but where's the conversation? Situation?

Anonymous said...

Welcome back SFL!

Anonymous said...

Ditto!!

Rumpole said...

Godwacker, women say that to me all the time. The situation and I are just cursed with good genetics. A cross we must bear.

Anonymous said...

Since when has it been acceptable for the Bar Magazine to include a cover photo and 10 page layout for the incoming president? Seems like such a waist of my dues.

Anonymous said...

Bar Journal

Anonymous said...

And the hookers. What about the hookers.

I time travel for fun said...

Thanks for the shout out. Getting ready for my next trip back. Wednesday. Will give a final report Tuesday before I'm off.
ITTFF

Godwhacker said...

Hey Traveler, do the world a favor and tell Dr. Winston O'Boogie to beef up his security.

Anonymous said...

Hello SFL!! :)

Anonymous said...

4::38. - Looks to me like you are a "waist". (by the way check out every bar journal for the last two decades. See a pattern after the bar convention ? Cover stories on the new prez. Idiot.)

Jealous said...

Am I the only one who doesn't think that the Situation's abs are all that great?