Friday, October 11, 2013

Welcome to the Practice of Law, Mr. Fuentes! (BTW, the Courts Are All Closed).




Here's a small light of positivity to brighten the dark government shutdown sea we all seem to be swimming in, a young lawyer being sworn in to our noble profession.

Too bad you only get a week in federal court!

Still, the doors are wide open at 73 West Flagler.

To get ready for motion calendar, I suggest barging to the front of the deli counter at Publix, pompously state that the deli lady already knows your order, the minute she starts cutting your roast beef start packing up your papers, if the person you cut off begins to protest then loudly talk over her and -- in an exaggerated motion -- hand the deli lady a blank piece of paper and assert that the document provides clear and controlling authority for your actions, and if she continues to protest demand an evidentiary hearing by the gourmet olive cart and threaten to take an immediate writ to the yogurt aisle.

(I've seen this work a hundred times!)

Have a great weekend!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love it!

Godwhacker said...

If this wasn't a Monty Python episode it should have been.

Anonymous said...

Good stuff SFL

Anonymous said...

Really great....i really hope you reveal yourself one day so I can buy you a drink

Anonymous said...

congrats on crossing over from humanity to become a lawyer, and congrats to your soon-to-be-fiancee

Anonymous said...

Happy Weekend, SFL. :)

Spencer's World said...

[The scene opens with a child playing with a ball. Another child rides by on a bike while a mother watches and smiles. The announcers voice comes on:]

"Your family depends upon you. They need you. But what would happen if suddenly you weren't there? [Images of a child crying, a wife looking at a pile of bills, another picture flashes with a child staring sadly at a picture. From the background slowly walking into focus out of some sort of large room is Spencer Aronfeld]

"My name is Spencer Aronfeld and every day in this country thousands of people die in tragic accidents.
Look around. Everything you see can kill you. Your pencil, your water glass, that muffin from Starbucks, even your daily vitamin. That's why I am imploring you to buy my new book: DEATH IS EVERYWHERE!
DEATH IS EVERYWHERE is a practical hands on book for those of you who want to live a long life. You already know you shouldn't SCUBA dive or paraglide or run with the Bulls in Spain. But did you know that when your office-mate starts playing with a rubber-band and paper clip, your risk of immediate serious injury which could be followed by surgery, infection, and death increases fourfold? How about that harmless looking TV remote everyone has? Last year they accounted for 1100 ER visits and over 32 related deaths! In DEATH IS EVERYWHERE you will have a daily hands on guide giving your lifesaving practical advice.

And since death can accompany the mailman, we offer the book in several easy and convenient download formats, as well as softcover with anti-bactierial coated pages. Each softcover book comes with a set of finger cots designed to protect you from life threatening paper cuts.

Please- if you want to live, then order DEATH IS EVERYWHERE for you and your loved ones. And remember, if you or someone you know are injured-and you will be- call the lawyers at the Aronfeld law firm and we will represent you. Thank you.

[The camera pulls back as Spencer walks into a large safe room with padded walls. He presses a button and we hear air hissing as a large steel door swings shut, safely sealing him in his safe room and protecting him from the outside world.]

Anonymous said...

Can anyone recommend a really good labor attorney, possible violation of fmla rights. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Richie has put on some weight sitting on his tuchas . Freshman 15....he's looking a little....pear-ish.

Anonymous said...

Give Spencers World a guest post please!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of churlish crooks.... Florida Overlord Rick Scott didn't bother to contact the three 3d DCA JNC nominees who didn't make the final cut - 2 of which are sitting Circuit Judges - to advise them of same.
His staff called the 3 that actually made the cut and didn't have the courtesy to contact the others to give them the bad news. Instead one of them found out from a friend that the decision had been made almost one week ago.
Rick Scott is like school in the summer time: NO CLASS!

Anonymous said...

http://instagram.com/aronfeld

Dane Kimball said...

I really need to find some Burnaby lawyers. I am having some legal issues that I would like to bring up with a lawyer. Hopefully he could help me with my situation.