Thursday, April 9, 2015

3d DCA Watch -- Sometimes a Carat is Only an Edible Tuber Edition!

The sun is a-shining and the bunker is a-bunkering, so let's get right to it:

School Bd. v. Martinez-Oller:

Judge Shepherd reverses a directed verdict on duty, finds no duty and reverses a jury award involving an student-related incident at Killian High:
The trial court reached its conclusion that the School Board had a duty to release Ericka’s past behavioral records to Ms. Moon-Brumley by itself determining that Ms. Moon-Brumley “had a legitimate educational interest in [Ericka’s] past behavior records.” This is legal tail chasing.
The Judge even helpfully included a graphic:

Hey, legal tail-chasing is better than legal ball-lick....well, this is a family blog let's just use another graphic:

Does Judge Rothenberg go full Goodman or full Carnes?

You decide:
Historical Hollywood starlet Mae West once said, “I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.” Thus, it appears quite likely that Ms. West would have been interested in the diamond in this case: a twenty carat diamond that Starboard offered to DePrince for a very low sum.
Not bad!

I love "historical Hollywood starlet" Mae West (are we all that old?) -- here's my take on this paragraph using a different quote from Ms. West:
Historical Hollywood starlet Mae West once said,“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.” Thus, it appears quite likely that Ms. West better have a good hand, as she surely had a bad partner in Starboard Cruises.
Either way we approve!


Anonymous said...

Fucking brilliant.

Anonymous said...

Ditto, 5 stars SFL!!

Anonymous said...

Excellent post. Dog licking balls, Judge Rothenberg getting cute while reversing now US District Judge Gayles. What's not to love?

Anonymous said...

Full Carnes.

P. Guyotat said...

I miss the days of really short 3d DCA opinions.

Anonymous said...

David Miller opinions go to the 3d DCA with the presumption of incorrectness.