Monday, June 8, 2015

Clear Clear Clear!

There are lots of relatively innocent reasons for clearing your browser history. Like when you don't want your wife or husband to know that you've been playing the quiz over at But now some are calling clearing your browser obstruction of justice.
Khairullozhon Matanov is a 24-year-old former cab driver from Quincy, Massachusetts. The night of the Boston Marathon bombings, he ate dinner with Tamerlan and Dhzokhar Tsarnaev at a kebob restaurant in Somerville. Four days later Matanov saw photographs of his friends listed as suspects in the bombings on the CNN and FBI websites. Later that day he went to the local police. He told them that he knew the Tsarnaev brothers and that they’d had dinner together that week, but he lied about whose idea it was to have dinner, lied about when exactly he had looked at the Tsarnaevs’ photos on the Internet, lied about whether Tamerlan lived with his wife and daughter, and lied about when he and Tamerlan had last prayed together. Matanov likely lied to distance himself from the brothers or to cover up his own jihadist sympathies—or maybe he was just confused.

Then Matanov went home and cleared his Internet browser history.

Matanov continued to live in Quincy for over a year after the bombings. During this time the FBI tracked him with a drone-like surveillance plane that made loops around Quincy, disturbing residents. The feds finally arrested and indicted him in May 2014. They never alleged that Matanov was involved in the bombings or that he knew about them beforehand, but they charged him with four counts of obstruction of justice. There were three counts for making false statements based on the aforementioned lies and—remarkably—one count for destroying “any record, document or tangible object” with intent to obstruct a federal investigation. This last charge was for deleting videos on his computer that may have demonstrated his own terrorist sympathies and for clearing his browser history.

Matanov faced the possibility of decades in prison—twenty years for the records-destruction charge alone.

Federal prosecutors charged Matanov for destroying records under the Sarbanes-Oxley Act, a law enacted by Congress in the wake of the Enron scandal. The law was, in part, intended to prohibit corporations under federal investigation from shredding incriminating documents. But since Sarbanes-Oxley was passed in 2002  federal prosecutors have applied the law to a wider range of activities. A police officer in Colorado who falsified a report to cover up a brutality case was convicted under the act, as was a woman in Illinois who destroyed her boyfriend’s child pornography.
I think this sets a dangerous precedent. I mean if you're Chris Christie do you really want people to know that your last Google search was "how many lanes can I block with my ass?" Don't get me started on the Duggar's and Denny Hastert's browser history.

Remember folks, social conservative = secret pervert!

And because I don't like Mondays ...


Cocaine Princess said...

Hehe.....those pants.

Anonymous said...

Hey GW, what is the male equivalent of a cammel toe? Or is that pic. just too gross for words.

South Florida Lawyers said...


Godwhacker said...

Sadly the camel toe doesn't discriminate between the sexes. It was an epic problem in the days when Jordache, Gloria Vanderbilt, and Calvin Klein ruled of the blue jeans sections. We can go with SFL's suggestion there if you like!

Anonymous said...

I take it back.

GW, you hurt me. You really hurt me.


NB - that's a really, really, really small package.

Godwhacker said...

As we say, 'it's no BIG deal.' :-)

Anonymous said...

everyone knows the male cameltoe is a mooseknuckle

Godwhacker said...

I've seen mooseknuckle. That's no mooseknuckle. Maybe a mouseknuckle.