Judge Carnes Writes 66-Page Jurisdictional Snoozefest!

Ok, I just spent the last hour reading Judge Carne's recent prolix opinion on CAFA jurisdiction and what evidence is properly considered when evaluating jurisdiction on removal.

I had the following reaction:


I often wonder whether courts should be required to abide by the same page limitations lawyers are stuck with. How is it that you can come up with a 55 page opinion when the movant is limited to 30?

In this case the best part was Judge Carnes' introduction:
The plaintiffs entered into contracts to purchase units in Two City Plaza, a new high-rise building that offers ocean views and “cruise-like amenities” such as a Zen Garden, Moonlight Theatre, and a rooftop resort pool and steam room.
"Cruise-like amenities"?

You really want your condo to resemble a cruise ship?

Corpulent, underdressed chazzers feelin' hot hot hot in the hot tub as you struggle to maintain some dignity and find a modicum of peace and quiet?

No thanks.


  1. Which one is you, SFL?

  2. By comparison, Torres' order reads like a grisham novel. Fact is all law is boring and lawyers are for the most part boring too. zzzzz is right. Gotta go back to work now on my erisa case. :(

  3. The funny thing is he's recently been writing some interesting opinions, with clear narratives and compelling linear storylines.

    This one has none of that.

  4. to be fair, it is about removal jurisdiction and the amount in controversy. hardly the makings of a grisham novel.

  5. Hey SFL what do you use for a pool, is there a plastic one strapped to the roof of the van?


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