Attention: Apple Products Are NOT Trying to Kill You!

Here's what I learned -- never step foot in an Apple store.

(But I'm an old crank!)


  1. Who is going to represent Apple in the infringement, unlicensed use lawsuit?

  2. wow, that was some truly amazing content. Really doing a great service by posting that here. Im so glad I watched it. SA continues to blow my mind (in a nauseating, pathetic kind of way).

  3. SA brilliantly satirizes social marketers. This is fucking genius!!!

  4. SA: Okay guys, we are going to open the office every day with applause.

    Staff: For who?

    SA: Me.

    Staff: Okay.

    SA: Start clapping...[breaks into rendition of I am the Monarch of the Sea]

    Here is a video of it

  5. OMG, that video is Perfect!

  6. A VIDEO

    The Apple Trade Mark is visible. Then it fades to black. Black screen. The voice of Spencer Aronfeld is heard:

    "Apple is one of the great companies of our time"

    Images of Steve Jobs, from a young Jobs with Wozniak to an older Jobs, all dressed in black, slowly flash across the screen.

    "But have you ever considered that Steve Jobs, who was the founder and face of Apple, died an early, tragic death?"

    An Image of a body in a stretcher with a sheet pulled over the body rolls across the screen.

    "But Jobs wasn't the only untimely death. Every day thousands of people who own Apple products die, many of them early and untimely deaths. Apple product owners are killed in car wrecks, they choke on grapes sold by Starbucks (more on that in another video), they're electrocuted in their bath tub, stabbed by their spouses, trampled by Elephants, and gored by bulls. Apple product owners falls from buildings, die in SCUBA diving accidents, and in diabetic comas.
    IS there some causal connection between Apple and untimely deaths?
    My Name is SPENCER ARONFELD, and if you know a friend or loved one who recently died and who also owned an Apple product, then the lawyers at my office want to speak with you. Please call us or visit our website at APPLEKILLSYOU.COM.
    And please remember, most things in our everyday world can maim or injure you. That is why Spencer's tip of the day is :STAY HOME AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. Thank you, and put down that Ipod."

  7. I really like Spencer but even this is too much.

  8. 604 needs to come write for me.


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