The Green and The Gay

I don't mean to alarm anyone. It shouldn't come as any surprise. Your first hint should have been the way they pat each other on the butt after a successful play, but there are gays in our football locker rooms.

Blame it on Global Warming but the winds of change are blowing ever so swiftly on numerous fronts. We already have gay war heroes. Why not gay football players? Talk about your "fantasy football"! Some have issues.

While many athletes commended Michael Sam for coming out as gay on Sunday, former NFL coach Herm Edwards warned about the potential impact on his fellow players.
During an appearance on ESPN, where Edwards is an analyst, he compared Sam to a player with "off the field" issues and raised concerns about how his teammates might handle the ensuing media firestorm. 
"He's bringing baggage into your locker room," he said. "Can the players handle the media attention they are going to get, when they get the question asked, 'are you okay with a gay teammate?'"
On one level he has a point about the baggage.  When we travel my husband has one whole suitcase just for the shoes. But the idea that there is anything new about gay people being part of every aspect of our society is just naive. But don't worry. We can control ourselves. If someone looks at you, take it as a compliment. If someone stares too long, say "take a picture, it will last longer." Certainly telling a gay guy that you're not interested is child's play compared to getting through a modern defensive line.

Meanwhile, have you seen the right wing blogs? Apparently President Obama and Eric Holder are busy usurping the constitution by imposing gay marriage on the backwards backwaters states that have not yet achieved marriage equality.

One of these constitutional conservatives should read the part of the constitution which describes the Supreme Court, or better yet the Full Faith and Credit Clause which demands "public acts" like marriage be recognized by all the states. These new rights are ones I will hopefully never need. Testify against my husband? Not a chance. Visit him in prison? For what, going 65 in the 55 zone? But it's nice to know that they're there if you need them.

And no, they will never get me on anything. All of my whacking is done exrtradimensionally, well outside the jurisdictions of these terrestrial courts.


  1. Is that too icky for you 4:41?

    What did you think with all those people eating hot dogs?

  2. Ignore the detractors big boy!

  3. Football!!! Where do I begin? I'd love a piece of this brain damage case.
    Trained athletes intentionally directed to hit each other as hard as possible.
    It's an intentional tort extravaganza! And size of these brutes! Unbelievable. So dangerous. So violent. So ready made for some Spencer-lovin-litigation. Move over cruise ships. Ready! set! hut hut hut. Here's comes Spencer on a legal blitz.

  4. Dude, you are a narcissistic basted. The comments were not about the gays, it was about dealing with all the idiots who care about sexuality. The stock answer should be....if a dude wants to such d, it should be his business and I don't care.

  5. @10:26

    I try to keep my posts short. I chose this particular quote because it worked well with my true joke about my husband's luggage. You can do a web search today and find dozens if not hundreds of quotes displaying the very "how am I supposed to react if they see me in the shower" BS I address here.

    As for me being a narcissist, that goes without saying. But I'm not self monogamous. I love many that deeply.

  6. Ouiser, you know I love you more than my luggage.

  7. The truth is that it's quite easy to tell a gay man you're not interested. In fact I do it all the time.

  8. Donte' Stallworth @DonteStallworth

    "In my experience, if your organization can't "handle media coverage", they will suck on the field anyway... but hey, there's always 2015..."

  9. Anyone who played sports or simply attended gym class at an all boys high school (ahem, there are several in South FL) knows that some pretty (arguably) "gay" sh*t happens in the boys locker room. From community showers, to various contests dealing with genitalia, to mocking or complimenting each others bodies, locker rooms are no strangers to that sort of "bonding". The fact one of its occupants has a different sexual orientation should make no difference to anyone. If you don't want someone checking out your junk, be a little more discreet about it.

  10. Right on the money 10:22. I couldn't have said it better myself.


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