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The Marijuana Warning Label

You must have heard it a thousand times by now and you're undoubtedly going to hear it a thousand more times before November: No one has ever died from marijuana. So that means marijuana is completely harmless and as safe as mother's milk, right? Not quite.

I'm sure by now you have all heard about poor, poor Maureen Dowd.
For an hour, I felt nothing. I figured I’d order dinner from room service and return to my more mundane drugs of choice, chardonnay and mediocre-movies-on-demand.
 But then I felt a scary shudder go through my body and brain. I barely made it from the desk to the bed, where I lay curled up in a hallucinatory state for the next eight hours. I was thirsty but couldn’t move to get water. Or even turn off the lights. I was panting and paranoid, sure that when the room-service waiter knocked and I didn’t answer, he’d call the police and have me arrested for being unable to handle my candy.
Poor, poor Maureen could have saved her self a lot of misery had she done a little research. If she had she would have learned that edible marijuana sometimes takes over an hour to begin to kick in and up to two to three hours to take full effect. (this is why smoking or vaporizing is important for those who need immediate relief) She would have learned that, when eaten, the liver processes marijuana in a slightly different manner that increases and prolongs its effects. Had she dosed herself properly, Maureen would have had quite a different experience, but that wouldn't have made for an explosive column.

So what do you do if you're ever in a situation like this? Ladybud has some good advice!
First and foremost, DON’T PANIC! Cannabis is a very safe natural substance, and what you’re feeling is going to go away in a few hours. You won’t feel like this forever, and you’re not going to die; in the history of human cannabis consumption over thousands of years, no one has ever died of a cannabis overdose. You’ll be ok, really. 
The best thing to do is just relax, accept it, and wait it out. You can do like I did and stretch and meditate, or as cannabis expert Dr. Mitch Earleywine suggests, you can take a mild over-the-counter sedative such as Benadryl. 
“No edible can defy a Benadryl and cartoons,” says Earleywine. “When you’ve had too much, take an antihistamine, turn on The Road Runner, and cuddle up with someone who loves you. It’s important to stay hydrated too.”
The truth is that marijuana is a powerful substance and it deserves to be treated with respect. If it weren't it wouldn't be so valuable medically and so sought after recreationally. It is far less addictive than either cigarettes or alcohol and far less likely to harm you in the long run. But that doesn't mean that it's candy, and I say that as a full supporter of both medical marijuana and Colorado style legalization. Yes on 2!

Happy weekend folks! Be well and stay safe!


  1. Happy Friday, SFL, Godwhacker & GB.

  2. “Don’t eat it the first time, it’s so much more intense. It would be like losing your virginity to Ron Jeremy.” ~ Bill Maher


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