Judge Rebull Says "No Lomi Lomi!"

I know, I know: this article is Rumpole's turf, but he doesn't work on Friday afternoons unless he is in trial and the matter tickled my fancy.
A Miami-Dade judge on Friday ordered an upscale Coconut Grove salon to reveal to authorities the name of a woman who complained she was sexually assaulted by a massage therapist. Lawyers for the Tiano Salon & Spa lawyers had been fighting prosecutors’ attempts to identify the woman, saying they believed the woman wanted to remain private because she had never reported the July 2013 incident to police. But prosecutors told Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Thomas Rebull on Friday that the move was a “transparent attempt” to withhold evidence of a crime that took place inside the salon.

Judge Rebull gave the salon one week to turn over all records identifying the woman. He will appoint a retired female judge to receive the records, and contact the woman to see if she has any objections to prosecutors receiving her information.

The case revolves around massage therapist Victor Antonio Sanchez, who was arrested in February after a woman told police he suddenly performed oral sex on her during a session at the Oak Avenue business.
Ok, let's take that apart shall we?

First, is the woman represented by Spencer?!

Second, .....nevermind.....where the hell would I even start?

N.B. Assistant State Attorney Christine Zahralban argued “There is no massage therapist-patient [privacy] privilege.” Ah, shit. I had all my eggs in that basket.

Have a great weekend!


  1. Aloha! I am an attorney in Hawai'i, a licensed massage therapist, and the author of a book on traditional Hawaiian lomi lomi massage published by the Bishop Museum in Honolulu, so to say you hit a nerve with me is an understatement. I would just like to set the record straight here. There is no evidence in the news reports that the accused massage therapist said he was doing lomi lomi, so your headline and video clip are rather misleading. Unfortunately, due to the misappropriation of authentic Hawaiian culture by non-Hawaiian New Agers, a false picture of lomi lomi as a sexual massage has developed. This scene from the Fockers movie is just one of many examples of how Hawaiian culture has been misrepresented. I know you were just trying to be funny but to the elders of our community, it's not a laughing matter. Like any other profession, massage therapy attracts its share of perverts, and whether they call it lomi lomi, goddess worship, tantra massage or some other label, it is still an abuse of a position of trust and violation of law. My mission in life has been to correct misrepresentations of lomi lomi, so I appreciate having this opportunity to inform your wide readership. Mahalo, thank you.

  2. You lost meat bla bla bra

  3. So, when I ask the Vietnamese lady for a lomi lomi, I am doing something wrong? What about a Cuban Loco motion? Seriously though, being able to advertise legal services with a lomi lomi on the side is a great business model....there is a local pi lawyer who is going to be all over that!


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