3d DCA Watch -- Sometimes a Carat is Only an Edible Tuber Edition!

The sun is a-shining and the bunker is a-bunkering, so let's get right to it:

School Bd. v. Martinez-Oller:

Judge Shepherd reverses a directed verdict on duty, finds no duty and reverses a jury award involving an student-related incident at Killian High:
The trial court reached its conclusion that the School Board had a duty to release Ericka’s past behavioral records to Ms. Moon-Brumley by itself determining that Ms. Moon-Brumley “had a legitimate educational interest in [Ericka’s] past behavior records.” This is legal tail chasing.
The Judge even helpfully included a graphic:

Hey, legal tail-chasing is better than legal ball-lick....well, this is a family blog let's just use another graphic:

Does Judge Rothenberg go full Goodman or full Carnes?

You decide:
Historical Hollywood starlet Mae West once said, “I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.” Thus, it appears quite likely that Ms. West would have been interested in the diamond in this case: a twenty carat diamond that Starboard offered to DePrince for a very low sum.
Not bad!

I love "historical Hollywood starlet" Mae West (are we all that old?) -- here's my take on this paragraph using a different quote from Ms. West:
Historical Hollywood starlet Mae West once said,“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.” Thus, it appears quite likely that Ms. West better have a good hand, as she surely had a bad partner in Starboard Cruises.
Either way we approve!


  1. Fucking brilliant.

  2. Ditto, 5 stars SFL!!

  3. Excellent post. Dog licking balls, Judge Rothenberg getting cute while reversing now US District Judge Gayles. What's not to love?

  4. I miss the days of really short 3d DCA opinions.

  5. David Miller opinions go to the 3d DCA with the presumption of incorrectness.


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